Postgrads

So right now I am currently (or in the beginnings of) applying for postgrads (although right now I am writing this blog).  This, in itself, is making me crap my pants spontaneously at random intervals throughout the day.  Then you have the fear of how do I pay for it?  My life is essentially: I’m poor (see previous post on money), finish my degree, even more poor, apply for postgrads, get into slightly more debt, possibly be accepted, huuuuuuge debt, graduate, file for bankruptcy, eventually steal all the essential things I need ending with me in me in jail.  And believe me, I would not do well in jail.  What a life.

Anyway, I am trying to write my personal statement and I keep hitting barriers.  Now the basis of a personal statement is to big yourself up as much as you can (note to self, never use the term big yourself up), but don’t over-do it so much as to cause violent wretching (dry or wet) on the part of the reader. 

My problem is I can’t get the happy medium.  First I am a critically shy boy who will combust if anyone makes the slightest contact with him.  Ideal candidate for a musical theatre student, I know.  Then I re-write and I am the most arrogant, obnoxious twat in the world.  Nobody is better than me, I am so talented that it’s a wonder I haven’t been famous since I was a foetus. 

Where is the middle-ground?

So far I can’t see any.    What am I meant to say?  I am reasonably talented (I wouldn’t be applying if I didn’t think so) but they don’t want to read that I am reasonably talented.  They want an already well rounded actor/singer/dancer.  I am currently one and a half of these things, but again this would not be well received.  I feel, with me, you need to meet me before you can judge me.  If you have read any of my previous posts you will notice I am a rambling idiot that writes everything that comes into his head.  I haven’t mastered the art of the delete button yet.  Therefore how will a personal statement be of any use to me furthering my career?  Answer: it won’t.

Any suggestions for my predicament are welcome.  Or if, by some weird coincidence, someone that reads this knows me well enough and is an exceptional writer with a high regard for me loves writing personal statements, go ahead.  I will in no way stop you from doing so.  Please.

I started writing this and then realised I have nowhere to go with it.  So this is the end.  Ha Ha